


The girl with no newt

by Say_brittany2002



Category: Original Work
Genre: Abuse, F/F, Gay, Orginalstory - Freeform, RatedM, Read, Trauma, readthis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-06-07
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:42:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24591739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Say_brittany2002/pseuds/Say_brittany2002
Summary: The adventure of Alexandra Carter, the story of a girl who isn’t yet in touch with her inner self. Suppressed by trauma and abuse through the years. This is a upcoming story of someone finding their identity and trying to live with what life has to offer. My first real story to Ao3, hopefully you guys like it.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 2





	The girl with no newt

**Author's Note:**

> My first original story, I hope you guys love it, and share it! Alright let’s get to this story

_ August airs always crisp under my nose _

_ It was the first day of the end of this berenching high school career I had to finish though _

_ I don’t know what reputation I wanted to give Because I was scared of letting myself go _

_ I had “issues” I don’t talk about  _

_ Not because they are eye dropping but _

_ Because they are indescribable  _

_ I write poems every week to get rid of these feelings of mystique _

_ I hope I never have to explain these “issues” in a poem  _

_ Then I know that the days I counter are skipping away  _

_ My feelings are decaying  _

_ And that I know I have become human  _

_ Written by A.C _

A smile always appeared when I wrote A.C at the end of every poem I ever written. It’s an inside joke with me, but only exclusive to me. I don’t think I’ll ever tell anyone why I write A.C at the end, or why I volunteer to write poems every week. Poems don’t even have to be anything tbh, they can be whatever you want it to be, and I loved that. 

I think I started to write poems when I was 9 and half years old, But my mind goes blurry when I think about those days of carelessness. Some days I stare outside and see these beautiful shaded red cardinals with beautiful feather wings fluttering to this horrible bird house I made when I noticed they started to come around often which was...when she passed away..

And there I go again being sad, I never tried to be this way, it floods in like a hurricane that’s approaching it’s peak! Or when a predator has its prey in the corner. My best friend Nova always tried to help but talking about the problem made me feel as If I was the problem, which makes me stop talking about it. I can’t say I don’t think people understand my complexion of a personality, because I always believed there was someone out there who did, but Nova never did, or will. She is carefree, and loves a venti iced coffee with 5 sugars, 10 gazillion pumps of sugar free vanilla, and the sweetest cream that has ever been made on this earth in her plastic induced drink. She Absolutely Loves making stupid tiktoks videos inspiring that one day she will be famous, and also loves hugs, a bunch of warm hugs. 

Look...I’m not hating on Nova, she’s the spark in my life, who drags that part of my antisocial behavior to socializing sometimes. I know she tries her best at the end of the day. Plus she has to deal with me, and I’m not even sure if I’m ready to speak my truths yet. Nova has been around for 2 years or so, and I don’t even trust her completely. She's the longest friendship I had, weirdest friend I had, and most basic friend I had. I should really fix my mindset from had to have because she’s not gone yet, I think. 

_ Nova💙💙 _

_ Are you awake? 3:56 am _

_ Me  _

_ Yes, I’m always awake. You know this. 3:56 am.  _

_ Nova💙💙 _

_ Ahhh yes I forgot...I’m ready for my local trip to Starbucks 🏃🏼♀️🏃🏼♀️🏃🏼♀️. 4:05 am _

_ Me _

_ You are gonna get yourself into a sugar coma before you become a senior 4:06 am _

_ Nova💙💙 _

_ Maybe. 4:08 am _

_ Nova💙💙 _

_ Maybe not 4:08 am _

_ Me _

_ Why are you up? 4:09 am _

_ Nova💙💙 _

_ I couldn’t sleep at all last night!! I’m so excited you know I can’t hide it 😏😏 4:11 am _

_ Me _

_ I prefer you keep it in your pants or to yourself 4:11 am _

_ Nova💙💙 _

_ You know you want this body...😉😉😉. 4:12 am _

_ Me _

_ I think I’m suddenly straight completely 4:15 am _

_ Nova💙💙 _

_ You were straight before, you were supposed to be gay by now, I still think you are 4:17 am  _

_ Me _

_ I don’t think sexualities work like that nova 4:18 am  _

_ Me  _

_ Plus it’s wrong to force a sexuality on me no matter what 4:23 am _

_ Nova💙💙 _

_ Nova can’t answer the phone right now, is suddenly tired brb 4:27 am  _

_ Me _

_ K 4:27 am  _

I put my phone down and sighed, texting nova was like talking to that relative you haven’t spoken to in months. It’s awkward and forceful and you often do not match energies at the end. Nova was my only friend though, and she wasn’t mean to me, but she wasn’t always on my wavelength of maturity. 

Not that she needed to be mature to be with me, because I’m not completely an adult, I just realize the world in a different way at a young age and she doesn’t quite understand what I had to endure through my growing pains. When she was 6 she was getting her own mermaid party, when I was 6, I was sworn into secrecy not to tell people about the bruises I had after I attempted to run away from my father. When she was 12 she had Starbucks in her DNA, when I was 12, I was basically too scared to look at my father's eyes. By the time she was 17, after her escape to go to the Bahamas resorts paid by her father, I was writing songs of hope that of course got cut short because my father wanted to hug me...tightly to wish me a very faint birthday wish. 

The experience that she had, I never got to truly experience for myself. So I was a bit frustrated when she got to go out on a coffee spin to Starbucks while if I tried to do that my dad would ask me where I got the money to spend, and where I was actually going. To him I was always trying to pull something, to him I was...his mistake he had to feed and take care of. 

My dad wasn’t the problem most times, but my mom is frightened to even stick up for her sometimes, because my father can get pissed over the simplest things. One time when I was 13, I had tried to wrap a gift for my family “tradition” Christmas party, I put quotes around tradition because it was everything but traditional. I had a weird family, not a bad one, not a good one either, but just straight up weird one. My uncles are trained cooks who could literally get any open positions in a 5 star restaurant but decided to settle on a hot dog food truck, and my aunts run a jokes shop called “Harleys gifts n’ tricks”. My dad has tried to separate his reputation with them, by getting a seemingly normal job as an engineer in automobiles and technology. I still think he is as much of a weirdo as them but won’t admit it. 

Anyways, I was trying to wrap this box filled with homemade rainbow bracelets that i had made when I was in the library or in my room which I never got the chance to really relax in because I had so many chores to do. I can’t remember if I had cut my finger on the scissors or if I fell cut my finger on the sharp edge of the tape roller, but nonetheless I had cut my finger pretty badly.

I told my dad and he was like “what in the fuck Alexandra, why in the world would you even wrap a present without me being there?” Even though I couldn’t remember how I had gotten my cut, I remember the pit of my stomach dissolving with fear of another beating and my tongue trying to resalvate because it was slowly going dry. 

_ He yanked my finger aggressively  _

_ Breaking more blood cells  _

_ Blood started to spill like a river going down a hill _

_ He started to progressively get angrier  _

_ Licking it dry white lips _

_ My mind was blank, no one can save me  _

_ The pain tolerance I had endured gave me hope _

_ But even then I didn’t know what hope was _

_ He threw a band aid at me and told me to fix it _

_ And then he walked away for a break _

_ A break from me…..the problem  _

_ Written by A.C _


End file.
